Roseanne Barr Quotes:
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
After my 1985 appearance on ‘The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,’ I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
Roseanne Barr
Birth control that really works – every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought.
Roseanne Barr
Everything that’s written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don’t think there’s anything I can do to stop it.
Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
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Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you’re feeling festive?
Roseanne Barr
Source: YouTube
Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem!
Roseanne Barr
Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I’m God and I’d like to start over. I don’t want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That’s why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody’s kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
Roseanne Barr
I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.
Roseanne Barr
I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people… that’s why I don’t like any of them.
Roseanne Barr
I do kabbalistic meditation. It’s not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.
Roseanne Barr
I do say that I am in favor of the return of the guillotine and that is for the worst of the worst of the guilty.
Roseanne Barr
I had – after I sang the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn’t do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
Roseanne Barr
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That’s what I told my kids.
Roseanne Barr
I know how to do anything, I’m a mom.
Roseanne Barr
I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
Roseanne Barr
I never do anything fun, because I’m a housewife. I hate that word ‘housewife.’ I prefer to be called ‘domestic goddess.’
Roseanne Barr
I think I’m hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar – isn’t that weird?
Roseanne Barr
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That’s what we’re supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
Roseanne Barr
I try to do women’s-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, ‘This is what I think; there’s the truth.’ I try to think of stuff that’s real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
Roseanne Barr
I was completely nuts for most of my life.
Roseanne Barr
I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election.
Roseanne Barr
I’m a comic, and I’m supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin’ people laugh is to shake up their thinkin’. That’s what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
I’m kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish.
Roseanne Barr
I’m tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.
Roseanne Barr
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