I have no organisational skills. All my energy goes into worry – worrying takes a lot of energy.
Rita Rudner
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn’t notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I’m letting him keep it. I’m saving money!
Rita Rudner
I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
I love to write jokes and that’s all I think about.
Rita Rudner
I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I did summer stock in Miami Beach when I was 12, and finally I said, ‘I gotta go to Broadway.’
Rita Rudner
Also read: Aleksandar Mitrovic Quotes
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I’ve gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends… one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Rita Rudner
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
If you are who you are on stage, people pay attention.
Rita Rudner