Mitch Hedberg Quotes On Do nut, Funny, Pringles

Mitch Hedberg Quotes On Do nut, Funny, Pringles

Mitch Hedberg Quotes On Donut, Funny, Death, Pringles The American stand-up performer, Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968-29, 2005), was known for his surreal mood and fatalities. Usually his comedy featured brief, often one-line, jokes mixed with nonsense. Comedy and staged personality Hedberg created a following after him, with the crowd shouting his jokes even before he can finish them. He died in 2005 from an overdose of cocaine and heroin drugs but his death could have been due to a heart defect. The son of Mary (born Schimsha) and Arne Hedberg were born in Saint Paul in Minnesota on 24 February 1968. He was Swedish, Czech and German descending (from his father's grandfather).

Mitch Hedberg Quotes:

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

Mitch Hedberg

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Mitch Hedberg

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

Mitch Hedberg

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Mitch Hedberg

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that… day.

Mitch Hedberg

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You’ll be mad, but it will be too late.

Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.

Mitch Hedberg

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.

Mitch Hedberg

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That’s like a free compliment and you don’t even gotta be smart to notice it.

Mitch Hedberg

I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Mitch Hedberg

I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.

Mitch Hedberg

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

Mitch Hedberg

I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

Mitch Hedberg

I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.

Mitch Hedberg

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.

Mitch Hedberg

If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.

Mitch Hedberg

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

Mitch Hedberg

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

Mitch Hedberg

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Mitch Hedberg

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

Mitch Hedberg

People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

Mitch Hedberg

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Mitch Hedberg
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