Famous & Funny Milton Berle Quotes:
It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.
Milton Berle
I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.
Milton Berle
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring.
Milton Berle
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient.
Milton Berle
Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s sixth husband. I know what I’m supposed to do, only I don’t know how to make it interesting.
Milton Berle
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
Milton Berle
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle