Jeff Foxworthy Quotes:
If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.
Jeff Foxworthy
Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.’
Jeff Foxworthy
Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
Jeff Foxworthy
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you’re not ‘professional’ any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Jeff Foxworthy
Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that’s a bonus, and if you don’t, you still won’t hate going to work.
Jeff Foxworthy
I say, If everybody in this house lives where it’s God first, friends and family second and you third, we won’t ever have an argument.
Jeff Foxworthy
There’s no down time any more.
Jeff Foxworthy
That’s the great thing about a tractor. You can’t really hear the phone ring.
Jeff Foxworthy
I know God is real.
Jeff Foxworthy
I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don’t want to give two or three more hours away.
Jeff Foxworthy
Between New York and LA, there’s 200 million people that aren’t hip, and they don’t want to be hip.
Jeff Foxworthy
I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
Jeff Foxworthy
Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn’t tell their therapist.
Jeff Foxworthy
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.
Jeff Foxworthy
It’s a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
Jeff Foxworthy
It’s hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
Jeff Foxworthy