Henny Youngman Quotes About Funny, Best, Love

Henny Youngman Quotes About Funny, Best, Love

Henny Youngman Quotes On Funny, Best, Goodfellas, Famous, Love. Henry "Henny" Youngman (previous Yiddish surname Yungman; March 16, 1906 – February 24, 1998) was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his "one-liner" mastery; his best-known one-liner was "Please take my mom." In a time when many comedians told intricate anecdotes, Youngman 's routine was to say simplistic one-liner jokes, sometimes with violin-playing interludes. They depicted simple situations like cartoons, cutting long build-ups and going straight to the punch line.

Henny Youngman Quotes:

When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say.

Henny Youngman

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Henny Youngman

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Henny Youngman

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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

Henny Youngman

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.

Henny Youngman

If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.

Henny Youngman

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?

Henny Youngman

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Henny Youngman

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.

Henny Youngman

What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money.

Henny Youngman

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

Henny Youngman
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