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Dog Quotes “Funny”

Dogs are as amusing as love. Want evidence? See the funny quotes below for the dog

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx

My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Elayne Boosler

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

Christopher Morley

Dog is God spelled backward.

Duane Chapman

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

Franklin P. Jones

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

Edward Abbey

Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.


You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

Harry S Truman

The dog is the god of frolic.

Henry Ward Beecher

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

Franklin P. Jones

What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.

George Carlin

I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.

Jarod Kintz

If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.

Roger A. Caras

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog.

Charles M Schulz

I like dogs. You always know what a dog is thinking. It has four moods. Happy, sad, cross, and concentrating. Also, dogs are faithful and they do not tell lies because they cannot talk.

Mark Haddon

I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

John Steinbeck

They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.

Jerome K. Jerome

The following dog quotes contain message of loyalty and friendship to dogs, inspiring feelings on our mates, and quotes which show how much our dogs love us. For this reason, these quotes add to your animal wall art  beautifully.

Dog Quotes Love And Best Friend Quotes

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Josh Billings

Animals have come to mean so much in our lives. We live in a fragmented and disconnected culture. Politics are ugly, religion is struggling, technology is stressful, and the economy is unfortunate. What’s one thing that we have in our lives that we can depend on? A dog or a cat loving us unconditionally, every day, very faithfully.

Jon Katz

No matter how you’re feeling, a little dog gonna love you.

Waka Flocka Flame

There’s a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around.

Dick Dale

When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.

Eckhart Tolle

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

Samuel Butler

Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time.

H. G. Bissinger

My main characters are the most sunny, happy, optimistic, loving creatures on the face of the Earth. I couldn’t be happier that’s where I start. I can put as many flawed people in the dog’s world as I like, but the dog doesn’t care. Dog doesn’t judge, dog doesn’t dislike. Dog loves. That’s not so bad.

Bruce Cameron

Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.

John Grogan

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog

Konrad Lorenz

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Mark Twain

A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat’s eyes don’t even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog’s eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, ‘What do you want me to do for you? I’ll do anything for you.’ Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don’t have sheep [I never have] is another matter. The dog is willing.

Roy Blount Jr.

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.

Roger A. Caras

Inspirational Dog Quotes

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

The dog is the perfect portrait subject. He doesn’t pose. He isn’t aware of the camera.

Patrick Demarchelier

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Mark Twain

The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.

Michel Houellebecq

You know, a dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you’re in faster than you can think of.

Jill Abramson

My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They’re loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, ‘The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.’ Funny thought.” – Brendon Urie

You can tell by the kindness of a dog how a human should be.

Captain Beefheart

The dog lives for the day, the hour, even the moment.

Robert Falcon Scott

Every dog must have his day.

Jonathan Swift

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.

Orhan Pamuk

You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.

W. Bruce Cameron

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.

Gilda Radner

Dog Love Quotes

It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.

John Grogan

The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be.

Konrad Lorenz

Before you get a dog, you can’t quite imagine what living with one might be like; afterward, you can’t imagine living any other way.

Caroline Knapp

Fall in love with a dog, and in many ways you enter a new orbit, a universe that features not just new colors but new rituals, new rules, a new way of experiencing attachment.

Caroline Knapp

Everybody should have a shelter dog. It’s good for the soul.

Paul Shaffer

The poor dog, in life the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend.

Lord Byron

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.

Mark Twain

It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them.

John Grogan

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.

Dean Koontz

A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.

Robert Wagner

Pet Loss Quotes

When we adopt a dog or any pet, we know it is going to end with us having to say goodbye, but we still do it. And we do it for a very good reason: They bring so much joy and optimism and happiness. They attack every moment of every day with that attitude.

Bruce Cameron

When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.

W. Bruce Cameron

Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.

Agnes Sligh Turnbull

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Will Rogers

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

James Thurber

Dogs’ lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you’re going to lose a dog, and there’s going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her, never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence, because you can’t support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There’s such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price.

Dean Koontz

If you have a dog, you will most likely outlive it; to get a dog is to open yourself to profound joy and, prospectively, to equally profound sadness.

Marjorie Garber

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Dogs die. But dogs live, too. Right up until they die, they live. They live brave, beautiful lives. They protect their families. And love us, and make our lives a little brighter, and they don’t waste time being afraid of tomorrow.

Dan Gemeinhart

clever dog instagram captions

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Andy Rooney

The dog lives for the day, the hour, even the moment.

Robert Falcon Scott

If you want a friend, buy a dog.

Kevin O’Leary

I just want to be in my sweats, walk my dog, watch TV and eat pizza.

America Ferrera

Everything I know I learned from dogs.

Nora Roberts

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

Roger Caras

Did you know that there are over 300 words for love in canine?

Gabriel Zevin

My little dog – a heartbeat at my feet.

Edith Wharton

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Charles Shultz

A dog may be man’s best friend, however a child’s best friend is a puppy.

Pabitra Adhikari

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother– and they’ll settle for a puppy every time.

Winston Pendleton

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more puppies.

Pradeep Adhikari

Puppies are nature’s remedy for feeling unloved, plus numerous other ailments of life.

Richard Allen Palm

Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies.

Gene Hill

If it wasn’t for puppies, some people may never go for a walk.


Every puppy should have a boy.

Erma Bombeck

People have been asking me if I was going to have kids, and I had puppies instead.

Kate Jackson