Andy Rooney Quotes:
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Andy Rooney
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can’t eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as ‘progress’, doesn’t spread.
Andy Rooney
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
I’m in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it’s wrong that I get fired, well, I’ve got enough to eat.
Andy Rooney
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney
It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
Andy Rooney
Source: Find A Grave
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Andy Rooney
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
Andy Rooney
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Andy Rooney
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
Andy Rooney
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Andy Rooney
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.
Andy Rooney
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney